In this episode of Life in Transition, host Art Blanchford sits down with Mark Berridge, former corporate leader turned author and resilience advocate, to share an extraordinary story of survival, acceptance, and personal growth. Following a life-changing accident that left him with a severe spinal cord injury, Mark opens up about his journey of physical recovery, mental resilience, and rediscovering his life’s purpose.
How do we rebuild our lives after trauma?
In this episode of Life in Transition, host Art Blanchford sits down with Mark Berridge, former corporate leader turned author and resilience advocate, to share an extraordinary story of survival, acceptance, and personal growth. Following a life-changing accident that left him with a severe spinal cord injury, Mark opens up about his journey of physical recovery, mental resilience, and rediscovering his life’s purpose.
Mark describes how he learned to “make friends with uncertainty” and set realistic goals focused on incremental progress rather than immediate results. From daily physical therapy to emotional acceptance, Mark’s journey emphasizes the power of small, consistent actions. Through embracing vulnerability, asking for help, and celebrating minor victories, Mark found a renewed sense of meaning, realizing that even small steps forward can lead to profound transformation. His story is a testament to the human spirit's power and how, even amid uncertainty, we can strive to live a fulfilling and impactful life.
This episode offers listeners invaluable insights on handling life’s unpredictability, creating purpose from pain, and finding strength to move forward—one step at a time.
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Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Art Blanchford: [00:00:00] Welcome back to Life in Transition. Our guest today is Mark Berridge. I'm really excited. I've got to met through a mutual friend coming to us from down under and Mark is a father of three, author, speaker, and former corporate leader. So Mark, I'm really glad to have you here and really look forward to hearing about some of your story, which is a really fascinating story.
Welcome to Life in Transition Podcast.
Mark Berridge: Thanks Art, and thanks Life in Transition listeners.
Art Blanchford: Um, so jumping right in Mark, what would you consider to be the most meaningful transition that you've been through?
Mark Berridge: think like all of us, we go through a number of those little life transitions, which are so important.
But for me, I had one forced upon me. are definitely lots of people, right? life's not in control as much as we try and control certain things. And for me, At 47 years of age, I suddenly lost control of a bike. Typical Sunday morning ride, so I was riding typically 150 miles a week, and halfway through a 40 mile ride, my bicycle, his front [00:01:00] wheel has hit a sunken piece of road.
I've gone flying over the handlebars, having made a choice that the grassy park wasBetter of my bad options. unfortunately there was a stormwater drain five foot below ground level. Sorry, I really shouldn't laugh about it, but I can't help it now. And, it was pretty painful.
I flew high in the air and pile drive myself to the bottom of that ditch. And, thank God I had a great helmet. and had eight friends with me. paramedics were called, took a while to get out of that ditch. I was in intense pain. yeah, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself in that ditch and doing my best just to hold on.
And then nothing prepared me for arriving in hospital and hearing that I had a spinal cord injury and two crushed vertebrae and a big chunk of one of those vertebrae in had gone into my spinal cord, compressing it, leaving a lot long term damage. So, suddenly. All of the life I thought that was coming at me, all of the things I'd worked so hard for in terms of a, wonderful family and the things I wanted to share in the future with them, having accumulated, lots of fortunate situation from a wealth and privilege perspective, you know, nothing, crazy or anything, just normal [00:02:00] average person, that I was going to enjoy retirement and traveling around the world.
Suddenly all that felt like it was just, you know, beyond my grasp anymore because of that, I guess, hearing those words. I guess that transition in particular, the first few hours, but there was a pretty tough, few years. all of those issues, I guess, were part of my transition.
Art Blanchford: when you that, I'll say this cliche of your world sort of coming crashing down, right? So you're told that you've got a serious spinal cord injury or in hospital. and you started to question, all the things about your life, whether you could do all the things that you had been planning to do and what life would look like in this condition, what was going on for you?
What were you feeling at that point?
Mark Berridge: Oh, I was completely defeated. So, you you go through a range of emotions. So when I just hit the bottom of the ditch, you once I sort of got my breathing under control and sort of stopped breathing, panicking in the ditch. I suppose there was a lot of guilt initially because I was supposed to be flying to Salt Lake City that night for a, workshop.
I'm co leading a workshop with a friend who's already in Salt Lake waiting for me [00:03:00] to arrive the next, morning. and I'm suddenly feeling like I'm not getting on that plane. I was also missing out on the fact that I was going to ski in Salt Lake City over the weekend whilst I was there, which I was really looking forward to, you know, that feeling of, the team I'm working on.
So I'm sort of dealing with that I'm trying to find ways to defuse that feeling. think I've started to defuse it for going. one of the guys said, you never know, Mark, it might be Obero, which is my nickname. You never know. Barrow might be muscular. Oh, okay. So if I could get out of hospital by Tuesday morning, I can still get to salt lake by Sydney.
And not miss too much of the workshop, and I might still be able to contribute in some way and not let the team down and see, you deal with those sort of emotions to start with. But then the really big ones when I hear that news that I may never walk again without this emergency operation that must be as soon as possible, certainly within 24 hours to give you any hope of walking again, putting two nine inch rods down the middle of my back, the brain's a predictive tool, and it just goes straight into.
what's life going to be like? And you think [00:04:00] of ads, particularly from my era when I was a child, the ads on TV about somebody in a wheelchair was their life was ruined. Right. Because using those to, get people to stop drinking and driving. and they use those ads very powerfully to try and change that behavior.
But of course, it left a legacy on many of us that the life you expected, particularly someone who associated strongly with mobility. You know, I'd always played in sporting teams. I love skiing. I loved lots of things that, revolved around, know, had visions of walking my daughter down the aisle out of both our future.
Suddenly that's not looking the same, all of those feelings were playing through my mind and just feeling like, yeah, just completely. lost the handle on who I was as a person, that it had suddenly been wrenched from me. Now, not wrenched in such a way that it may never come back, but in what way would it come back?
How hard would it be to stretch and strive for it? Was I up to that task?
Art Blanchford: Like the first thing was their first emotion was feeling guilty of not being able to do your [00:05:00] job in the right way. Like you have, significant, major life changing event of your whole life, not just your career right in front of you.
And then the first thing is. How can I manage to make sure I'm with my team and don't let them die?
Mark Berridge: Because probably it was too big a factor in my whole life, since I was, probably at high school and wanting to go off to university and wanting to be successful in business.
Cause I want to set up a stable environment and a successful family environment and give my kids great chances in life. All of those emotions that sort of obviously very central to my values as a person all my life, had meant that for too long I'd allowed the wedge of work achievement and probably even still a struggle for me today.
That wedge of work achievement to be dominant in my sphere of importance to myself, even though it was an enabler for other areas of importance being this family type of, feelings. I think it was just such a big thing, but you know, like all of us, if [00:06:00] you work on a team and you feel like you've, we'd really been putting in me and my colleague Brett to make this workshop a success.
We really believed in the potential to save hundreds of jobs, to add revenue that would create this much better future for this particular asset. we really believed we could pull this off and this was valuable work and suddenly, my ability to have an influence on my part of that project,and try and help Brett and the whole team pull off the whole project was taken away from me.
Art Blanchford: Yeah. So I mean, it was both. a foundational thing because you sort of the way you just talked about is your work sort of became the foundation for all the other good things in your life. It's a way you provide for your family. It's the way that you contribute to society. And of course, you may be also overindexed.
That's a lot of us do coming up overindexed on the work itself on life where you put those together. And that's the first thing that came to mind. And maybe also the most immediate thing that you weren't going to be able to do would be flat assault. Yeah.
Mark Berridge: Yeah. but I also had other guilt, like it wasn't just work, like even really silly things when you're [00:07:00] lying in a ditch with a, spinal cord injury and you're feeling guilty that you hold your mates up for an hour, whilst there waiting for the ambulance to come.
and then the complexity because I've fallen the bottom of this convex, drain that's five foot below ground level. And I'm just. So concave drain and I'm sitting in the bottom of this drain and, I'm lying across it. So they had real complexity of how they're going to, with a spinal cord injury, safely get me out of this, drain without having more damage.
all that took time. They had to walk me a long way away from the ambulance with the guys carrying me before bringing me back. and you've got weird feelings and maybe it's because. At that point in time, you're just so, your spirit is so fragile overall because you're so uncertain, you're so shaken and everything, you start to, add extra, extra woes to yourself you really don't need because you're just feeling, I guess you're just feeling fragile.
Art Blanchford: So take us through a little bit. So you're at the hospital, you get told you need to have this emergency surgery. If you're ever going to have a chance to walk again, did that resonate with you? Did you say, wow, this is really serious. Did your, did mood change at that [00:08:00] point? Did your focus change?
What happened at that point?
Mark Berridge: it's hard to fully recall. And I wrote some great diary notes, which made a big difference to be able to go back over different stuff. And, you know, I'd been wheeled around for a whole pile of. scans and I knew it was serious, but I'd never seemed to have any expectation.
I was going to hear spinal cord injury. And I think that's because at some point in time while I was in that drain, they'd asked me to wiggle my toes and I could wiggle my toes. Now I'd never tried to move in the ditch and I don't know whether I wasn't capable of moving or I think more likely my physiology was just smart enough to go.
Yeah. It's not in your interest to move, mate. Do not even try. And the body is just locked down, yeah, so when I heard those words, I just, panicked, I think, in my mind. And I wanted certainty, because I guess I'm so trained for when you're in those difficult situations at work to start to look for the areas of certainty.
And if I, okay, what things do I know? I know I really value the things that feel like they've been taken away from me. I know I can work hard. and focus on things that [00:09:00] are important. So if I throw you this guarantee of I will work hard, I'll work as hard as anyone at this, will you provide an increased guarantee of my future and my ability to walk?
And it felt like every time I pushed for more certainty, I was getting less, less, clarity back from the specialist because there was no clarity in the situation. I think that was one of the most important moments of the transition when I sort of just let that go and go, well, okay, okay. If I'm feeling desperate for this certainty, and every time I push for it, I'm getting vaguer and vaguer answers.
Well, how do I make that vagueness, that ambiguity my friend, that uncertainty my friend, rather than thinking it's my enemy? Because if you're I'm clear as to, exactly where on the spectrum it can be, but you think I've got to prepare myself for really limited mobility, but you're unclear. How do I make that lack of clarity, my friend, and aim for stuff, start to visualize stuff at the better end of that.
I understand. I'm not going to make myself false promises here. I understand the shape of the curve. for those that know distributions, it's probably got a [00:10:00] high ketosis to one side, which is the most likely scenarios. But there is a tale out here of scenarios where it's going to be better than that.
And you're not prepared to provide any sort of certainty that I'm going to get in that.
there's some acceptance there, but you said that you, started to make friends with the uncertainty, which is the opposite of the most of things that were in your life right there that you felt like you control. How did you do that? How did you make friends with uncertainty?
Because I think that's, it's not the one that's, can control the most, that's the most successful and resilient. It's the one that can live with the most uncertainty and the most change. And it's, a really big thing. How did you do that?what did you use to make yourself more comfortable with uncertainty?
Hopefully it doesn't sound too random, but I think I did it by creating some certainty. I think the key for it was that I go, okay. My outcomes are uncertain, but I will feel better about myself if I know I've given this every last effort. if I feel like I have set an example to my family, to my friends, to myself.
and have no regrets when I look back about how I've tackled this, [00:11:00] then I'll feel better. And I'll start to measure myself against that mechanism. I can't control the outcomes of how that goes, but I can control how I feel about how I've applied myself. And if I start to reward myself for something that's more certain, can't, again, that's not complete.
That will have its own ups and downs. It's not going to be a smooth journey. Like there was lots of difficult. Minutes and hours and days. But if largely I can apply myself in a great way and then reward myself for the way of applied that and try and not rely only on results towards this very high aspirational vision I've got of the level of mobility I might try and achieve, then I'll still feel a bit better.
So I think it was that Effectively rewarding myself on two scales. There is an app, progress. I'm gonna celebrate stuff like that, but less in my control. What's more in my control is how I show up and I've got to make sure I reward myself and tell myself every day that I feel much better about myself as an [00:12:00] individual for how I've shown up.
Art Blanchford: it's the serenity prayer in a sense. Except the things that cannot change.
Mark Berridge: Yeah.
Art Blanchford: The outcomes you, I mean, maybe it can change, but you don't control them for sure.
Mark Berridge: Yeah. They
Art Blanchford: encourage to change the things that I can, which is the process, right? How do I show up?
Mark Berridge: Right. Yes. Exactly.
Art Blanchford: I actually control.
Mark Berridge: then you start to understand a little bit more through, I guess, the physio guidance of what you can control where to focus your energy. And I think you start to appreciate the power of help. and actually letting go of some things and, allowing people to help you, is also very enabling.
Art Blanchford: And what was that like for you, Mark, to start letting people help your mates? It's a quite different guy than the one that was worried about his mates waiting for an hour when he was dealing with his spinal injury, How did you get to a place where you were comfortable? with allowing other people to help you.
Mark Berridge: think it was difficult. I mean, know from a work sense that I've had plenty of situations that asking for help has been successful. But at the same time, I think from a work achievement perspective, a life achievement perspective,you knowmy [00:13:00] parents probably instilled in me that sense of independence.
So you also have relied on And I had a friend come into hospital and he basically said, Oh, bicycle Queensland can help in this way. And I go, okay. All right. So I wrote them an email and I was crying as I wrote the email because I was for publicizing how isolated and broken and defeated.
I felt in that moment was about a week after the injury. And then the response came back and it was just so beautiful. And, So I cried some more and felt sorry for myself some more, but it was really wonderful. And it sort of showed me, I think that specific example really showed me it helped me navigate some feelings.
It actually led some attempted help. The help may not have played out, but it was just really important spiritually. And I ended up with a really strong, what I'd described as a pedestal example, like a real one that I could keep looking up to like a beacon and go, that's the sort of example of if you do this.
So Mark, you might be feeling uncomfortable. You [00:14:00] might be holding onto this last semblance of pride about this thing, but if you actually speak up about it, it's gonna pay off. It's gonna be worth it. and I think that sort of having those thinking about those examples in the past. that's really proven from a research around effective help seeking behaviors that having those positive examples from the past that we know where it's worked and how it worked.
And reliving those in our minds that we do them again. When we have that situation, we don't have that tendency towards pride and isolation, which I certainly could have had at different periods is important.
Art Blanchford: So, a couple of things want to follow up on there. First, you said, yeah, I cried some more and I was feeling sorry for myself.
And I would say, crying is not necessarily feeling sorry for yourself. We put a lot of labels on crying, especially as guys, right? But sorrow or sadness. Grief is just one of the normal and good emotions of life and to resist experiencing it is to leave it stuck in you where it can become depression or despondency and to let it out to experience it is to [00:15:00] let it be one of the normal emotions of life and let it pass through you.
for you for having the courage to do that. And I don't want to take exception with just sort of putting yourself down a little bit. I was feeling sorry for myself. Now you were processing and that's really healthy.
Mark Berridge: but the important, lesson there is, I would have felt sorry for myself regardless whether or not I wrote the email or not, but by verbalizing it, by writing it, by bringing it to the service, even if I didn't fully address those emotions in that moment, I become much more aware of them.
I knew that I was either parking them for later when I was stronger to deal with them. And I think that ability to actually, rather than suppress emotions, but acknowledge them and work out and, be self compassionate about that and know when how you work through it. And I think in that situation, it really helped me work through, as I said, because that point in time, didn't know who I was in a, in a lot of ways and just determinedly getting through lots of little moments.
But this sort of made me a dress All those feelings of loss that I was feeling, perhaps not really verbalizing because I didn't find them very helpful. they weren't driving me forward and I was trying to focus [00:16:00] on all those emotions that found a way to drive me forward. But as a result of sort of was, you got the best power boat in the world and you're driving yourself forward, but if you've got the big anchor, how will it into the sand and the rocks, it's not the best.
Right. And I just found a way to pull that, anchor up out of the sand and the rocks a bit. It was still trailing behind me in the water. But it was nowhere near as bad as when it was bumping along the bottom. And, how do we keep doing that by verbalizing those, emotions, I guess, or, or even writing them down, journeying them down.
Art Blanchford: So take us through a little bit. So you had that experience, then you had the surgery what happened with that? How long has the journey been? How long ago was that Mark? And. What's the recovery road? Have you, figured it out to be able to walk again?
Mark Berridge: just over five and a half years ago, in terms of the injury, practically as a year learning how to walk again, but I'll concentrate on learning how to walk all my life. I still have issues with my left leg, left foot in particular.
So, if any listeners are out there just sitting down at the moment, I know there'll be some [00:17:00] walking around, but if you're just sitting. Just try and lift it in front of your toes off the ground. So I can lift my right toes off the ground about a centimeter, half an inch. I can't lift my left toes off the ground at all.
Like if I'm just sitting here at the ground. I just, there's no way. and if I really strain at it, I can roll the outside of my foot off the ground, a tiny amount, but I can't lift the inside part of my foot off the ground. So I'll never get, regain that sort of control. so my skiing might be a little bit mixed next time I get out.
I think waking up from the operation was probably the hardest moment actually. So it took me a few hours to generate. hope on that first day and, to move from that predictive of all the things I've lost. Okay, what sort of attitude will I take forward here? But it was only once I woke up from the operation and realized I couldn't push myself, you half an inch up the bed, just basically could not move at all.
the extent of the pain I was in, that I started to appreciate just how hard the battle was going to be. And of course can then make some progress and you find out other issues and you start to realize that your [00:18:00] feet are actually important because you just sort of took them for granted, like many other things in your life for that point.
and all those complexities. and I think, that first time they got me up. To try and stand about 30 hours after the operation. and I knew at that point that, any movement in bed was horrific. And, my legs just shook on control of me the whole time.
And then trying to put weight on them and they're just. buckling underneath me and shaking wildly my brain just didn't know how to control any signals to and from my legs how confuddling and deflating that all was. But at the same time you go, well, okay, but I've stood up, I'm completely conflicted by this situation.
I've made some progress that was so crucial to me. but it's uncovered just how complex my issues are. And I think those constant waves of Progress and more learned complexity, which is true of anything in life, ignorance can really help us take on a new task and we make some great progress as a result.
But then we get into the circle where we, you know, in that valley of despair Where you suddenly realize, you know, how complex this [00:19:00] new role is I've taken on all the rest of And I could think of those examples from my work history and, life in general, as we all can and think about, okay, I have been through these cycles before of now having received more information about my environment of just how challenging this is.
But I've got through those examples in the past. How do I find a way to get through this one? So all those sort of ways. just taking it up a level, seven weeks in hospital, another three months worth of day hospital, pretty much full time, then started to get down to part time private physio and part time day hospital for the next six months.
and then started to try and get back into some part time work. and I'll continue to be in. maintenance and rehab for the rest of my life, but God, I've met some nice people through rehab and seen some inspiring stories. So there's been lots of great, sides of, that difficult point.
Art Blanchford: So total intense period of recovery was a little bit over a year, then a year and a half.
Mark Berridge: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was your full time
Art Blanchford: job was the recovery.
Mark Berridge: Yeah. And one of the physios said that to me a weekend, he just said, I love your [00:20:00] enthusiasm, but you've got to focus on rehab as if it's your full time job for the next year.
I know. One of the reasons you're doing that is you want to get back to work, get to that when you get to it. Rehab is now your full time work. Right.
Art Blanchford: Right. And so then a year and a half later, then you could start that, start back to work to some extent. if you look back to that point, five and a half years ago,
maybe even when you recognize that you had the spinal cord injury more than the bike accident. So Yeah, obviously some things are physically very different in your life, but what have you learned from that experience, from that time?
Mark Berridge: I think the very highest level is just extent that we're capable of taking on difficulty. you had asked me before that, could I have navigated this in the way that I've navigated it? I wouldn't have thought so. But we've all got that in us. We find a way to, do it. And what's that built on the most?
Well, yeah, you definitely need a beacon of hope. You need to be able to aspire to something. I think that's, crucial. But most of all, it's just simple, [00:21:00] small actions repeated. It's just listen to somebody that knows what you need to do. Make your judgment on that. Apply yourself to it.
Fulfill, know, with absolute commitment and just lots of little steps because they do compound them. And those of us that have worked in corporate role where we had a lot to do with your net present values or compounding values, we had some understanding of that. And I certainly painted that picture in my mind from day one of like, I hope be alive for more years.
even if I just make sitting up in bed easier by applying all the effort I possibly can now into this, window of, I guess, opportunity at the very start for a spinal cord injury, you've probably only got six to, 12 weeks at the start where the majority of your recovery will come and they provide no guarantees of any recovery post a year.
Probably zero post two years, but they really don't know. I think you do continue to improve, but, they're right. The majority of it's in that very early periods. throw myself at that two year period as hard as I can keep my throwing myself at the [00:22:00] situation to make progress because Any small improvement counts for a long period of time and is really valuable to me.
painted that picture, but also they change your perspective. So make a little bit of progress. You, become curious about something else. So you,got a slightly broader perspective on the situation. It just opens up more and more opportunities. So there's nothing more powerful than those pillars of little efforts.
Art Blanchford: I love that. you talked about that day. The biggest thing you learned is how do I apply myself again to the things I can do, get good advice and then really apply myself to the small actions over and over again and see how those compound
process and I'd love the time perspective to, you I'm reflecting, on my own life and thinking about, okay, if I'm going to be doing this or investing in something that's going to be you.
Part of my life for 30 years and I'm going through a year of difficulty. Well, if I think about the 30 year payback, it seems really worthwhile all of a sudden, right? Whereas if you just think about the year of suffering to get that 30 year payback, it doesn't seem so much like,
Mark Berridge: you ever, how do you get your friends around you to provide [00:23:00] that? celebration with you of that progress too. I remember like just the simplest things, like one of the footy dads, once I started to get back involved in my children's sport and I was volunteering to just feel like I was still involved in the family because, you know, that was one of the things I was missing.
And every week he'd just say, You're walking so much better than last week. I knew that I was working so hard and I think he was saying that as much as anything, cause he knew how hard I was working to, make the improvement. and I may still be on crutches many of the weeks he said it, but it was just the right thing to say.
in terms of helping me focus that effort, just to notice some improvement and, to hear those things and to reward yourself for them helps sustain that effort against those little actions.
Art Blanchford: And that was the question I was gonna ask is, did you learn to enjoy the process as you went some as well?
And it sounds like the way to do that is through the celebrations to recognizing small improvements and to celebrate those in whatever way with yourself or with friends and a good word for, friends also to be on the lookout because [00:24:00] it is hard to see ourselves. And always, and especially when we're going through transition and so to have friends that point that out to us also is a blessing for sure.
Mark Berridge: question challenged me a little bit because I think mainly I relied on the celebration the joy of the progress because I think I'd painted such a strong picture of how I'd feel about myself as a person, as a father. Being about that, applying myself. But I think within that, once you start to work, you actually appreciate the work as well.
for months, all I would do is try and strain my toes to try and get any level of movement in my toes. And the very start that was just in bed, like every half an hour, rather than sit here and feel worried about, the future and all the things you can't do.
Let's just focus the mind on pulling the toes back towards you. Just do whatever you can to move those toes back and forth and to feel like you're moving them. And I don't know if I'm moving, moving them at all, but I was trying to, and feeling connected to them. And so I think I really appreciated the actual work [00:25:00] itself, but it was so closely related.
I'd sold it to myself as being so closely right to this sense of, Meaning and purpose of me how I'd feel about the process. So sometimes it becomes hard to differentiate the reward system we generate for ourselves, yeah, I think that you can definitely enjoy the work as well.
Art Blanchford: Yeah.
And even if it's, not making progress, but at least as you said, the effort that's affirming that you're being the kind of person, father, human being that you want to be, that you aspire to be, even if the results are outside of your control. if you look back to your five and a half year younger self, is there anything that you would do differently?
What would you change? What advice would you give? Mark, five and a half years ago.
Mark Berridge: I think that, sense of you're going to fall really close to defeat and that's going to feel pretty bad. and that will feel very proximate. And, no constraining, no, smothering to you, you know, that really blankets you that sense of defeat.
But what you can't see is beyond that, all the [00:26:00] joy that you're going to find from the progress, from the outcomes, the people you meet from the, way this has changed you for the better. Right now, all you can see is this defeat and how it's changed you for the worst. And I guess, it's always when we're thinking about the hard things we've been through in the past, it's thinking back and can we, reflect on the moment and how tough it was and how, fearful we might have felt or uncertain we might've felt and just park that for a moment and then think about how all those wonderful things happened in our life that, we never expected out of being able to tackle that point of fear, finding just enough courage.
To take on the next moment because that's all we need. We don't need enough courage to solve all of the difficulty that we're currently facing. We just need enough courage to get us to the next moment and how that then opened up, a moment of joy or a new perspective or a new opportunity, some curiosity discover something.
And I think, yeah, I would say that, don't be overwhelmed by that proximity of defeat, because on the other side of the battle will be [00:27:00] amazing opportunities. And even during the battle will be amazing feelings that you'll treasure for life.
Art Blanchford: I love that, that, you know, give yourself a glimpse of the good that's coming as well, so that you have not Pollyanna, but the perseverance to take on the task right in front of you with a little bit better or stronger heart.
Mark Berridge: you don't need to know what that good is. You just need to know good will come of this. yeah, I mean, obviously this too will pass as a very, famous expression, but perhaps, coming with it should be, and good will come of this.
Art Blanchford: Yeah, no, love that. And, if you could have whispered that into your ear at that point, maybe would have, suffered a little bit less looking at just all the negative things that might come and thinking about some of the positive things that are going to as well.
Yes. unspecifically to know for certain that it's a good will come of it without having to know exactly.
Mark Berridge: Yeah,
Art Blanchford: I think that's really, really well said and really beautiful.
Mark Berridge: And the experiences we accumulate in life do reinforce that to us, but sometimes we're not taking the time to pause really embed those past experiences we're having, which give us I guess, that well of [00:28:00] resources that remind us that good will come of this.
Art Blanchford: that's a good lesson for anyone going through a difficult phase to remember that good will come of it and to use that to Give courage to focus on the things we can do to make that difference. Um, speaking of that good, that would come, what is, some of that good that has come in your life, Mark?
Like what would you be missing if you hadn't? Been through that transition, been through that very challenging physical challenge.
Mark Berridge: Well, I can be flippant and say, well, I would, I'd be missing some pain. That'd be
Art Blanchford: nice.
Mark Berridge: I wouldn't need to sit down to dress.
That'd be still a bit nicer, but at least I can stand up again after I dress, or when I wake up in the mornings and I've got to walk down the stairs, uh, Taking it just one step at a time where, you both feet end up in one step because my neurology just doesn't work.
First thing waking up, it just goes back to sleep and I have to relearn effectively how to walk at the start of each day or start of any long period in the city. I miss those things,
Art Blanchford: it'd be
Mark Berridge: flippant, but, It's a complex question, because what would me have been [00:29:00] like that hadn't had this injury?
He was probably already on a trajectory of feeling like, well, there's more to life than this, than the corporate world I've been in, and I feel like I need to leave some sort of legacy in this world, and I'm probably not leaving it. So I was already on the hunt for something and I found it with a big bad bang.
it gave me the opportunity to, the people I've met, the impact I've been able to have on others, the impact others have had on me, actually. I think I've allowed that to have an incredible, effect on me of positive impact of others on and therefore I must be a much more well rounded person because of let more people in and having an impact on me.
And, I'll treasure those impacts for the rest of my life. I think it's would hope that on my deathbed, I will look back and go, wow, the impact that person had on me in that moment and the way that enabled me to, go on and do stuff. how precious, how special, how blessed am I that that's happened?
so I think, yeah, probably that sense of gratitude for the [00:30:00] world around me and blessed for the people that I've met the other authors, the, people that might've read my book or that I've interacted with because of this injury, the opportunity to give back to hospital that took care of me initially, all of these absolutely blessed opportunities.
And therefore the people I've met. as a result of that and the perspective I've got on the good that people are doing in this world. Oh, that's a truly, amazing thing that I never would have been as acutely aware of.
Art Blanchford: And that's pretty powerful. I mean, that one, that's a very broad statement to be aware of the amazing good that people are doing in the world.
There's a lot inside that.
Mark Berridge: Well, because it's difficult to do because obviously, our media in particular, no longer the fourth estate as it was to try and, I guess, show equity. It's actually about blowing into disproportion, the negative because that's what, unfortunately, and our
Art Blanchford: amygdala is like, we're looking for what's negative.
What might kill us, right? That's what we are trying to look at.
Mark Berridge: So yeah, therefore [00:31:00] we look at it, but we need five times as much positive things, coming our way, the negative, and that just doesn't happen. So yeah, now I have that opportunity to see all those positives. How good is that?
Art Blanchford: And you're now an author, and you're a speaker, and a TEDx speaker, and you have that book behind you, I see, that's A Fraction Stronger.
Mark Berridge: Yes.
All these things
Art Blanchford: that you maybe, wouldn't have had the opportunity to do, have we covered some of the things that are in your book? Or is there something else that you would like to share from the book? I mean, I know A Fraction Stronger, obviously, in the title.
Is a lot of the stuff we've talked about about following the process and doing the small steps and focusing on what it is you can control and do those consistently with your best ability. Are there other key things you would like to share from the bookmark?
Mark Berridge: just break it down to a very high level.
So sort of set it up around metaphors of. I guess the things that drive us towards that hope and the things that might derail us from that hope. So I called it lanterns we're aiming towards some of those [00:32:00] lanterns come from inside us.
So I talk a lot about, I guess the embers of who we are because I sort of had this vision. That for me, I needed more than just the distant beacon on the hill of hope that was super, super powerful, but I also needed something just to get me to take the next, action, right? Something a lot closer to you and I sort of think about if we've got that little inner glow within ourselves.
that's just creating enough glow next bit of the path that just gets us to take the next step. That's really powerful. So, I sort of have those two ends of the lanterns and then the angels being all those people around you, we've talked about reaching out for help and, how important that can be that, finding and sustaining your belief, your own effort, these are the angels that drive you forward.
And then, for me, demons were like guilt, fear, despair, you know, there's plenty of times where I just sort of felt like, I'm not cracking this, until the right help came in the right moment. So it's sort of, you know, you're sort of at different stages, you're starting to really plateau from Progress perspective.
[00:33:00] There's obviously you've heard so much about the uncertainty that you're going to plateau at some point in time. It feels like you plateaued and you're not plateaued at a point where you want to plateau and then suddenly the right help comes and you break through that again. But those feelings of despair.
And sometimes it can just be the right, words in that moment that help find a way to get you to try again. And that next try might be the one that Breaks you over the threshold or just is a, applied in a slightly different way that helps you make the breakthrough and all those things.
Yeah. yeah, but I think it's,
Art Blanchford: I think it's really important and I'm glad you talk about this in your book too. I think it's really important. To recognize it's not all rainbows and sunshine, right? There is despair and not just in the struggle, but there is times where you want to give up and it doesn't feel possible.
and that's normal and it's part of the process. And it's to find, whether it's the lantern on the Hill or the little bit of light in front of you or some angel next to you, that's helping you to make just the next step to just hang on for the next step.
Mark Berridge: I think broadly it will all be okay.
But you don't feel like that at the time [00:34:00] and, what if it's not, it doesn't need to be, it just needs to be more okay than now. And if you find a way to just keep driving yourself forward in, that way, and I don't like where I am and I just need to make it a bit more okay than that.
that's enough for that fraction, just to keep yourself moving forward. And as I said, you never know if you've just driven yourself forward that little bit where the next little bit of help might come from or the next breakthrough or, change in perspectives,
Art Blanchford: I have another question, like from what you've learned from this personal struggle, how has that affected the most important relationships?
Mark Berridge: I'm just so grateful for my wife in particular who, advocated for me so strongly at the start when I needed that help. you're just so much overwhelmed really in terms of information. And, so, you know, just that, I guess the gratitude for what she did through, I think.
That sense of the relationship that I've got with, particularly my ongoing physio, who I've been with for five [00:35:00] years now, just that ability for her to call me out if I'm not applying myself in the right way, and to keep me focused and to help me continue to be driven is so valuable.
So, I guess the close family relationships, but most of all the relationship with myself, too. I think, I start to, understand better how I can reward myself and just what I can achieve in this world. And, I can have an incredible impact on others and allow them to have an incredible impact on me.
And, I think took me to 47 to sort of, and this step changed to have a bit more of a mature relationship overall with myself.
Art Blanchford: And that's the most important relationship that we have, right, is to know who we are. Everything else we do comes from that. Even in with our close relationships and business, everything else comes from that.
So no, that's really wonderful. It's interesting. You said a minute ago, Mark, you talked about telling yourself that, whatever happens, it's going to be okay. But then also, and you didn't say this, but also that you don't know what okay is. But you don't know the actual outcome, but whatever it is, it'll be okay.
recorded another podcast this [00:36:00] morning with a gentleman named Wesley Hamilton who at 24 was shot several times in the abdomen and is completely paralyzed and he's in a wheelchair. And he founded a nonprofit called Disabled But Not Really. Because he realized that and part of his journey was to accept that at that point when the spinal cord is completely severed.
Right. And then how to make a good life and realize that, not having the use of his legs did not define who he was. As you said at the beginning, we have the capacity to do much more difficult things than we thought you did.
Much more difficult thing than you thought, and that we can be okay even if the circumstance isn't what we maybe would've thought was okay before. Exactly. We can find peace, we can find it ourselves in a way to be okay and still be meaningful contributing to ourselves and to society, to our families.
regardless of what that looks like.
Mark Berridge: might contribute in a much more powerful way than you ever envisaged yet. Sure. It's not the path you expected. There's still always something fantastic on that. I'm probably a little bit, rusty on the statistics. I read them when I was going through writing the book [00:37:00] process, but I think I'm pretty sure in the States that,guns are probably one of the biggest cause even bigger than motor vehicles.
I think of spinal.
Art Blanchford: Wow. Yeah, I'm not surprised by that, but it's interesting. We always change much more than we think. I was just looking at some Ted talk on that with his Harvard psychology professor that we always change much more than we think always going forward. we don't know how it's gonna be, but to have the confidence That whatever that is, we can be okay with it.
Maybe it's even a better way to say it, that it will be okay. We can be okay with it. and to do our work and be okay with it. So,
having been through such one sort of very defining transition that's put you on a different path in life, do you feel that transitions will ever stop?
Mark Berridge: I think we're, always changing. We're always in transition. for me, it was obviously a step change event, but I think
My transition will continue for a long period of time, particularly around that step change. I'm still, fully discovering what I'm capable of as a result of that. Particular incident, I know we've [00:38:00] been through such a big difficulty with it. It's still opening up new opportunities for me and, what other books will I write?
I want to write plays eventually because I love the theatre. And that's a big challenge for me in the future, right? Would I have ever have had the impetus to start moving towards writing books? But I talked about it would have actually done it. would I ever then had the confidence to start publicly saying I'm gonna eventually write plays?
probably not. now I can put all that out there and just go, you know what, they're my targets and I'll chip away at them. And now I'll put in place a plan to, start to move towards those. And, that's great. and then because of those decisions, there were transitions be that come out of that, that'd be even more interesting.
And, ultimately, isn't that where I were on this planet is to, having interesting experiences and, there's so much. Wonderful people, so many wonderful things to do and see on this amazing planet of ours that we should take just slightly better care of. Um, but how do we, Just take more time to enjoy those and, uh, be part of them and, let them have an impact on [00:39:00] us.
And, I think you said you're up the mountains at the moment, you know, that opportunity to get out amongst mountains and just see the day changing around you and, how that, you know, Hasn't bit of a change in you by seeing that change happening around you, and it's just quite special.
Art Blanchford: that's beautiful mark. And I think, that's where we'll leave it like that for people to know that the changes are coming and to embrace those and to recognize life is and I say this quote a lot from Joseph Campbell, the American philosopher, right? That are you going to say a hearty yes to your adventure?
And are you going to embrace that? And the adventure may have twists and turns like getting thrown off a bike that day, but I'm really,excited to see what you've made from it. like you said, never would have been right in place, youthinking about that or planning that if you hadn't had that experience.
So life can give us all kinds of twists and turns. Are we going to show up for adventure and how to. make time for that. And then I wonder if you have any specific advice on that because you said, how do we make time to be in the present to enjoy this miraculous spaceship that we're on through the cruising through the [00:40:00] galaxy.
Do you have any specific advice on that before we wrap up?
Mark Berridge: I personally love nature. So getting myself nature is my best way, I think of just putting myself in the present. But I'm gonna give a specific example that people If you've got one of my, tendencies might find really useful. So I think I've been quite poor historically at accepting credit.
and my youngest child gave me a great example last year where I gave him a compliment and he just simply said, thank you. Whereas I would so often in my life say thank you but or thank you and then somehow discount the compliment that I was receiving. So the tactic I now try and use is when somebody gives me a compliment, Iwhether it's online or other, I just try and very simply write thank you.
And then in the time that I might have otherwise spent discounting that, I actually start rewarding myself in my mind. And give me myself full credit for the achievement I've made that they've just complimented me [00:41:00] on. So I'm now really trying to embed it. So rather than my past practice of thank you discount, I'm now doing thank you.
Silence, embed. Yeah. Silence and compound. Yeah. So that'd be
Art Blanchford: more powerful. we can practice that. I'll say good on you as a father, that your son has the comfort in himself to To just say thank you and to not feel like he needs to discount himself. So well done for that.
Mark Berridge: very grateful for that.
And of course, go, discounting. It could just be because he's a year 12 boy and just was quite happy with the conversation. Yeah. So let's not discount. Let's go with your version. Let's not discount it. And thank you.
Art Blanchford: Yeah, there we go. There we go. I might even cut that part out so that
Mark Berridge: we don't have that in there.
Art Blanchford: so Mark, where can people find out more about you? I mean, what an incredible and interesting story you have. Where can people find out more about you?
Mark Berridge: Yeah, so I'm on LinkedIn as Mark Berridge. You find it markberridge. com. au and yeah, I'm great podcast like this one. And, [00:42:00] on YouTube, you can find my TEDx talk, the power of doing hard things, all about the great talk
Art Blanchford: to great talk.
I love the title.
Mark Berridge: Thank you. And, I could have gone on forever. And, the writers wouldn't let me about the importance of that lady Leanne, um, who really Help me with the breakthrough and walking and just held me upright and drove me forward. and if you've ever felt completely helpless, it's a pretty horrid feeling.
And just to have someone doing their job so skillfully and driving you forward and helping you. it's really, really powerful. So, yeah, hopefully that talk, mentally does that for a few people and helps them find that way to drive themselves forward because we're all amazing at achieving amazing things.
Let's go out there and live a great life.
Art Blanchford: Awesome. Thank you. We'll put all of those in the show notes. Mark. I really appreciate you getting up so early in Australia being with us today. Thank you so much for your inspiring wisdom and story today. Thank you.
Mark Berridge: Thank you.